Friday Fight 257: Starving the Monster

Every Friday morning, during my quiet time with the Lord, He faithfully places something on my heart that speaks to the subtle, internal battles many of us face. This is Friday Fight 257.

How often do we replay a mistake in our heads, wishing we had made a different choice? It loops in our minds with alternate endings, as if thinking about it can somehow change what’s already been done. What if the thing consuming our attention is not even alive anymore, just something we keep feeding? This is something many of us wrestle with, and it’s been on my heart again.

Starving the Monster

We all make mistakes, yet in those moments, we are called to take them straight to God, to confess, repent, and receive His forgiveness. We make amends to those we sinned against, yet at times we still feel we need to carry the weight of what He has already handled.

When we hold onto the heaviness of our mistakes, shame begins to convince us that yesterday still defines us. It replays moments, whispers accusations and builds something inside of us that was never meant to live that long.

But here is the truth: you cannot undo yesterday with today’s pain—and you were never meant to carry it. Shame feels powerful because it grows like something alive within us. The more we return to it, the stronger it seems to become.

We rehearse the mistake and re-live our failure. We punish ourselves again and again, hoping that somehow, we can make things right through our self-inflicted suffering. But what we’re feeding is what we’re strengthening. God gently warns us in Galatians 6:8 that whatever we sow into, whether it’s truth or lie, like shame, will be what takes root and grows in our hearts.

This “monster” is not something all-powerful; it’s growing in strength because it’s being fed, feasting on our agony and pain. God does not call you to live in self-condemnation. His love does not agree with the voice that tells you to keep punishing yourself. When we hold onto shame, we are not honoring God, but resisting the freedom He has already given us. Forgiveness begins when we stop trying to be our own judge and allow God to take His rightful place in our lives.

There comes a moment where healing requires a decision. Not just thinking about letting go or just talking about forgiveness, but choosing it. Choosing to stop feeding what has already been defeated. Choosing to release what you cannot fix. Choosing to receive the grace you did not earn. Because freedom isn’t found in feeding the past, it’s found in surrendering it.

Please ask yourself:

What have I been feeding?

What does God say about who I am?

Contemplation is dangerous if misdirected, but it can also redirect a desire. The monster is not outside of you; it exists in your heart and soul. What you stop feeding will begin to fade. Let it die and walk forward in the freedom God has given you.

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In His Grace,

Pastor Shannon

River Church