Friday Fight 148: Redemption through Dialogue

Every Friday, when I wake and pray, God places something on my heart to help me fight darkness beginning in our minds. Today is FF148.

How often do we walk away from a situation wishing the dialogue would’ve had a different tone or direction? We waver in a delicate balance between saying too much and remaining quiet. Constructive dialogue can be destroyed by the wrong heart or having misleading intentions. When hurt by words, some of us remain silent and stay mad because it is seemingly effortless. But what happens to our spiritual health when our dialogue becomes diluted?

Redemption through Dialogue:

We all have different variations of dialogue that cover certain situations. Saying hello to a stranger or grabbing coffee with a friend requires different dialogue variations. One of the greatest struggles in relationships today is our need to understand the value of dialogue and what it should entail. Ephesians 4:29 says, “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.”

With our current technology, we need a reminder of the necessity of verbally speaking to maintain relationships. Our tone of voice, body language, or nonverbal cues can all dilute our dialogue. Having a best friend in another state has strengthened my appreciation for honest expression because all we have is what we discuss. Sometimes, we update each other on life's events by taking turns sharing and listening. Other times, our discussions lead to prayer, matters of faith, or new Biblical insights.

So far, this is an easily applicable lesson! But what about the "difficult discussions" necessary after being wounded that most of us dread? Some people will remain silent and remove themselves from situations, while others cast blame elsewhere. Repeatedly choosing not to convey our pain only causes more problems. These hidden hurts can contaminate our souls and future interactions. Dialogue takes two people. When carrying unresolved pain, wounds fester, and what we thought would be a helpful conversation escalates into the unexpected discovery of inventoried hurts all surfacing at once. Suddenly, not sharing has consequences that leave us feeling like the relationship or situation is hopeless. But when we apply the truth of God's Word, we have reconciliation.

We must first diagnose our dialogue if we ever want to find healing from our wounds. Begin with prayer, and come to the Lord with a heart focused on our faults, not theirs. Sharing our hurts in a conversation with humility and love frees us from damaging patterns. These patterns include believing conflict is one-sided or seeing ourselves as the victim of everyone else's faults. Keep in mind that silence is also a form of communication. Rather than using denial to calm the waters in our relationships, begin by showing others the goodness we see in them. Most importantly, When we own our sins and humbly apologize, we place the conflict in God's hands, confident that He will work on our behalf.

Conversations that address hurts are not a time to compare people to others, nor is it healthy to correct, judge, or prove innocence. Always speak using the same tone we want to hear in return. Despite ourselves, God still loves us, the marvel of all marvels. Let's extend the love we receive. Read Scripture, inhale the goodness of God, and let go of the tight spaces of unresolved conflict. Exhale words that represent the character of Christ. Let Him dictate our dialogue and experience reconciliation instead of the world demanding its defeat.

Pastor Shannon

New Life Calvert